Harblectomy

It’s often been said that a million monkeys typing at a million keyboards would eventually type out the complete works of Shakespeare. (It’s also been said that thanks to Usenet, we know this not to be true.)

(If you don’t know what Usenet is, then ask the oldest tech-savvy person you know.)

Pretty much everything that can exist on the Internet does. So imagine my surprise when I discovered that I honestly came up with something completely new.

Our kitten Osiris has a date with his vet on Thursday for the operation that young male cats have. ‘Siris will be losing parts of his anatomy that he’s really grown attached to over his six months on this Earth.

Thanks to LOLcats, these little cat parts have gained a new synonym: harbls. If you dare, there’s an Urban Dictionary page on harbls. It is probably-but-not-definitely-safe-for-work so consider yourself warned.

(If you don’t know what LOLcats are ask the youngest tech-savvy person you know.)

So I’m somewhat embarrassed to admit that I’ve coined a new term for the neutering of a cat: a harblectomy (prounced har-bull-EK-tuh-mee).

Google confirms that this is my creation:

So, my minions, go forth and spread the word! Let’s get “harblectomy” moved from the Urban to the Oxford English Dictionary! And please, please, please, whatever deity may be in the sky, let this not be my only contribution to humankind.

Flush

Canadian water utility EPCOR is responsible for wastewater treatment in the city of Edmonton, Alberta. They recently published a graph depicting water usage for the city of Edmonton during last week’s gold-medal hockey final between the United States and Canada.

If only we USAians had such a love of hockey that they’d risk their bladder and kidneys over the suspense of a great hockey game.

(Thanks to Pat’s Papers for the link and EPCOR for a great idea for a graph. And again, congrats to Team Canada for the gold.)

Historical Maps

While chatting with Robin on the way home from dinner at some friends’ house tonight, we wondered what needed to be demolished to lay down Interstate 787 in Watervliet, New York. Anything? Was it a vibrant neighborhood, or just unusable swampland?

Google or Microsoft, this one’s up for grabs: Historical Maps. Add another slider to the Google or Bing Maps page that allows the view to go backwards through time.

I’m sure someone in the world owns the complete collection of topographical and general reference maps for specific time periods. It wouldn’t take too much effort to scan in all the maps and stitch them together. (Not too much effort, that is, if you’re a big company.)

Feel free to use that idea, Microsoft or Google (or Mapquest, if you’re still around). You don’t need to pay me any royalties. Just tell me what’s under I-787.

Fitness

I’m running my first half-marathon this May. And I just realized this evening that when I turn 35 this summer, I will very likely be in the best shape of my life.

I’m not sure whether that’s awesome or pathetic.

Thanks, Vancouver

The 2010 Winter Olympics wrapped up yesterday in Vancouver, BC, after a fortnight of athletics, celebration, and shallow attempts at putting aside international politics for some greater good. (Or at least that’s how I’d imagine the residents of “Korea” and “Chinese Taipei” would put it.)

Actually any bitterness I show here is misguided, since I love the Olympics. I’m actually sort of glad that the games are over, so now I can get back to doing things other than watching television every night.

My top five Olympic moments:

(5) Apolo Ohno. A great skater, both physically and mentally. He got a couple favors from other skaters in Vancouver, most notably South Korean skaters, but those happenings are part of the insane sport of short-track speed skating. Congrats to Ohno for becoming the most decorated American winter Olympian.

(4) I don’t pay much attention to figure skating, but I did watch the performance of Yu Na Kim of South Korea. And even I, with no clue as to the difference between a toe-loop and a salchow, knew that her performance in the free skate was something special. She virtuallyas lapped the field with her performance, crushing the record for highest score ever in the event.

(3) As I get more into endurance athletics, I really appreciate what pain cross-country skiers go through. I’ve never cross-country skied myself, but watching the athletes push themselves as hard as they can is really inspiring. Add the insane sport of ski jumping to that mix and you realize what a combination of skills it must take to excel in both. Congratulations to American Johnny Spillane for earning three silver medals in Vancouver; his first was the first American medal in the sport of Nordic combined (contested in the Olympics since 1924). The 10 km sprint was a fun race to watch, and being able to watch Spillane’s joy and pain was exhilarating for me.

(2) Curling. I loves me some curling. The United States had a terrible showing in this year’s Games, but the enthusiasm of everyone watching (both live and on television, as reported in the media) proved that curling continues to be that dorky thing that everyone loves. Kind of like the Canadian people, now that I think about it.

(1) Hockey. My first love in sport, it was great to watch a well-fought hockey tournament. Receiving their silver medals, the US team had their heads down, but they had no reason to. They played very well, beating gold-medalists Canada in group play in what many people said was the best hockey game they’ve ever seen. (Regrettably, I missed that US win.) Congratulations to Ryan Miller, Team USA (and Buffalo Sabres) goaltender, for earning the title of tournament MVP. Hockey fans throughout the world won by getting to watch the world’s best players fight it out for national pride.

Thanks to team USA for making us proud, and to the IOC and Vancouver organizing committee for putting on a great Games. I’m looking forward to seeing what treats we can expect in Sochi.